Different Perspective
by Sev's Little girl
Summary: Lily has not seen or spoken to Severus since he called her a mud-blood, but when Petunia comes home one night and tells Lily that emergency personal are at his house will she put the pain he caused her behind and be the support he needs to heal, or will she forget it ever happened? will contain child abuse, and rape
1. pondering

**Author's notes: I know I am starting another story without finishing the other ones I have begun. Usual disclaimer applies to this story.**

Lily leaned against the rather large bay window that overlooked her lush, green backyard. It was close to sun down and in a few moments she knew that her mother would call them her for dinner, but for a moment she was allowed to be enshrouded by her thoughts and memories.

Her fifth year had been less than spectacular she thought, and it was all Severus's fault. If he would have just taken the hint that she really didn't need him around anymore, if she would have realized that he was just like the rest of his house, then it may have been better, but it sure wasn't. It had been a few weeks since term had ended and she was still dwelling on it, not that it was by choice. Her parents constantly brought up the fact that she did not spend hours with her "best" friend. She had not told them about the incident after her OWLS nor did she intend to. They would get over the fact that he was not going to be coming over anymore because he wasn't really wanted right?

"Are you alright Lily" The soft yet gruff voice of her father filtered through the room to her ears.

"I am fine" Lily replied as she turned to face the man that stood in the door way. She knew he was fond of Severus; he had since the first time she brought the Slytherin home.

"Are you sure?" he persisted. "You haven't brought your friend around."

"He was busy this summer." Lily replied in a rushed manner as she turned back towards the sun as it sunk below the fence line. The room was silent as Lily stared out to the darkness. She knew her father was still there by the sound of shifting fabric as he moved to sit on the couch. The Silence that stretched between them was normal for this subject. After what seemed like hours of silence, the front door burst open, causing Lily and her father to jump.

Standing in the doorway was Petunia and her boyfriend, Vernon Dursley. Petunia's eyes were glowing with delight as Lily stared at her.

"There are police cars and a few ambulances at your friends house Lily." Petunia stated as she moved out of the way to allow her sister and father a view as they moved closer.

Lily's heart began to pound as she stood in the doorway, her emerald green eyes taking in the scene: across the river flashing lights illuminated the night ensconced houses of Spinners End. For a moment she hoped and prayed that they were not at Severus's house, but the more she stared into the darkness, the more her hope was crushed. They were at Severus's house.

"Rosemary" Lily heard her father call from behind her. "There is something going on."

Lily had no idea if her mother came to stand behind her, in the spare of the moment, she felt propelled towards the house and took off in a dead run towards the flashing lights that appeared in the distance.


	2. Taken Away

The sound of her feet pounding the pavement was the only thing Lily heard as she crossed the bridge that connected the two sides of the riverbank. From somewhere behind her she knew her family was following, but whether it was to stop her or to see what had occurred she had no idea.

The closer she got to Severus's house, the slower she moved until she was just another face in the slowly gathering around the emergency vehicles. She had made her way to the front of the crowd as the man she recognized to be Severus's father was being carried out of the house by two burly police irate man kicked, screamed, and cussed as they shoved him into the back of one of their cars.

"It's all clear in there now." The police officer closest to Lily stated as he stared at the paramedic. "The Victim is in the sitting room off the hall." Lily's heart pounded as those words hit her ears. The officer said there was one victim yet there were two ambulances.

Does that mean someone is dead? Lily thought as she watched one set of paramedics carry a gurney into the dark house.

Her heart began to pound as she pondered which one of the occupants had been killed. Maybe it was Severus. Would she feel bad if it was? Maybe it was his mother. That would make him happy. Maybe it was his sister? That would kill him. Her heart plummeted at the thought of the second set of paramedics taking away the lifeless body of Avielle Snape. Avielle- or Ella as Severus tended to call her- was the one and only reason he came back to Spinners End every summer. She was just a year younger than he was but he defended, protected, and loved her fiercely from what she had seen. And he would be devastated if she had died at the hands of the man who was currently pounding his head against one of the car windows.

"Jonas" one of the first paramedics called from the door, his shirt and gloves were covered with nearly black blood. "Can you examine this young lady please?"

Slowly emerging from the shadows behind the nameless paramedic was Avielle. Her green shirt and black faded jeans were torn in places and some blood oozed from the cuts in her legs and arms. Bruises were forming on her neck and a rather large contusion married the right side of her face, but relief filtered through Lily for a second. The Paramedic names Jonas moved to aid Avielle as she made her way to the second ambulance were she was treated.

Five minutes lat6er, the emergency personal emerged from the house with the wounded in the gurney. At first Lily couldn't tell who it was until they placed it on the ground and preceded to wheel it to the waiting vehicle. For a second Lily's heart stopped as her eyes captured the scene: laying in the gurney was a battered and bleeding Severus. Blood had seeped into his usual greasy hair, making it appear worse than it actually was. Bruises and small welts married his arms and face, but nothing deterred her eyes from the various bags of fluid that were connected to the tubes running into his veins or the oxygen mask secured to his face.

Slowly the two paramedics lifted up the gurney into the back of the waiting vehicle. Lily leaned forward to get one last glimpse at her one time friend before the doors were shut and the ambulance drove away. Seconds later a large warm hand rested on her shoulder as she watched Severus being taken away. She had no idea when the police car departed or when the other ambulance returned to the station, all she knew was everything had gone dark and silent. The crowd around them was dispersing. Once everyone returned to their normal everyday lives, Lily finally noticed who had put their hand on her shoulder: Her usually strong brave man had tears in his eyes as he too stared off in the direction the ambulance went.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw movement and turned her head just a fraction. Just a few feet from them was Avielle. Severus's little sister's body was stiff as she too watched the spot where the vehicle that carried her brother away disappeared. From the lights coming from the house, Lily could see the glistening tears in her eyes.

"It was nice of you to show Lily." Avielle's voice was hoarse from held back tears and blatant choking she had received." I wasn't expecting to see you amongst the spectators"

Before anything else could be said, the last occupant from the Snape house. Lily had only seen Severus's mother once or twice and this was the only time she had seen the woman up too had bruises but none as bad as she saw developing on the pale canvas that was Severus. Her long black hair was pulled back revealing her black eyes and hooked nose.

"Ella" She stated as she stood on the last step to the house. "Ella, come inside so I can treat you properly"

"Mrs. Snape?" Lily heard her father speak for the first time since petunia had told them the news." I am Jonathan Evans, your son is friends with my daughter, if there is anything the two of you need, you let us know, alright?"

Lily caught the swift play of emotions that danced in Avielle's eyes and Mrs., Snape's, face.

"Yes of course." Mrs. Snape replied as she ushered her daughter into the house, leaving them in the street alone.


	3. Worse for wear

Authors notes: I am looking for a beta reader for this story if anyone is interested, PM me

Avielle stared out the grimy window as her mother gathered what she needed upstairs. The last few hours had changed everything and she was absolutely positive nothing would be the same. Quietly sorted through and gathered her thoughts and emotions when she heard Eileen's footsteps descend the stairs.

"I am going." Avielle stated in her hoarse voice. There was no way she was going to let that woman treat her after she stood back and let that monster have his way with Severus.

"Going where?" her mother asked surprised, as if she didn't really know Avielle's opinion of her

"To the hospital." Avielle murmured as she turned away from the window to stare at her mother. "Someone needs to be there for him, do you actually think that his friend is going to be there? I know you don't want to go, but why shouldn't I?"

"Ella. . ." Eileen began as Avielle made her way to the door "Please. . ."

"Please What?" Avielle asked as she turned the knob and opened the door and stared out into the night" You don't expect me to sit here in this house, after that monster did what he did to him do you?"

"Ella, Severus will be. . ." Eileen never got to finish her sentence as Avielle turned around; her face was hot with anger.

"Severus will be what mother? Fine? I don't think so." Avielle sneered as she turned and made her way down the steps."He can't fine, not after what Tobias did to him tonight." With those final words, Avielle felt her magic slammed the door shut and took off down the street in the same direction the ambulance went. She knew she should have ridden in it with him, or she should have taken off before her mother emerged from her hiding spot and get her into that hellhole, but she was in shock. Sure she had always known that their father was an abusive drunkard, but she never actually thought he would hurt them bad enough to actually require medical assistance.

In the distance she could hear the sound of the Evans' family as they made their way back to their happy home. For a second, there was a pang of hurt and anger as they walked away. They really didn't seem that concerned about Severus's welfare, if they had then maybe they would have offered to take either her or her mother to the hospital. Sure they had offered assistance when and if they needed it, but making sure Severus didn't die in transit was just as if not more important. _Maybe Lily told them that she was no longer his friend_ Avielle thought as she kicked a beer can into the river as she passed by the bridge. _But then why did they bother to come in the first place?_ Avielle's mind was racing, and all the blood that was rushing to her head to enable her to think made her battered face hurt.

For the life of her, Avielle could not figure that part out as she continued to make her way to the hospital by streetlight. Her wand was secure in the waistband of her jeans. As she rounded the corner at the end of the block she checked over her shoulder and ensured that she was not being followed before she continued to head towards the general direction of the hospital. She knew it was near the mill where her father once worked and it had stayed open even when the mill closed because it served both sides of the river. It was a fairly nice facility for being in Spinner's End and from what she had heard from others in the neighborhood it was a decent place to go if you were hurt. Gradually the night became lighter as she moved closer to the well lit facility that held her brother.

The walk must have taken quite a bit of her time, Avielle thought as she walked through the sliding glass doors of the ER. The emergency room was empty and by the clock on the wall it late, later than she had thought. Then again the place was a good mile away from her home.

"Excuse me?" Avielle asked as she moved towards the nurses' station, "My brother was brought in earlier this evening and I want to see him." She knew she was being a little demanding, but she didn't want him to wake up in a strange place without her.

"Last name" one of the nurses asked as she looked at a patient catalog.

"Snape." Avielle replied as she leaned against the desk, relieving the pressure on her feet while watching the lady's slender fingers run down the name column

"He was brought in. . ."

"By ambulance earlier this evening"

"Your relationship to the patient?"

"I am his sister."

The nurse made a sound in her throat as she looked up at Avielle" Right this way." Avielle followed the nurse through the double metal doors that lead to the treatment rooms, each of which as empty as the waiting room, except for one which was in the process of being cleaned.

The nurse lead her through another set of doors that lead her into the main hospital, after a few more feet, they stopped in front of the CCU/ICU of the hospital before the nurse motioned for her to enter,

Avielle was overcome by the scent of antiseptic and medications as she entered the sterile room. She was sure visiting hours were over, but no one at the nurses' station to her right told her anything.

"She's here to see the boy we sent over a few minutes before." her escort told a blond nurse behind the desk. With a nod the blonde behind the desk motioned for Avielle to follow her. The nurse stopped a few feet away, at the bed tucked in the corner of the long room. Slowly, Avielle made her way to where the kind looking woman stood.

She knew she should have been prepared for the sight, but she just didn't know how bad it was going to be. If it wasn't for the long, lank black hair, Avielle would have doubted this was the boy she grew up with. Severus's face was covered with bruises of different shapes and sizes, it looked as if they had already set his broken nose and stitched his badly busted neck displayed the purple impression of Tobias's hand when he had attempted to choke him. The pale arms that rested atop of the mint green blanket were too covered with bruises and welts from the belt.

Gradually, Avielle sank into the chair besides his bed and grabbed his unusually cool and bandaged hand. She was positive that the blue hospital gown hid a great portion of the bruises and lacerations he had received while trying to protect her. She was sure that he had a few broken ribs and maybe a few others broken bones. But it was the injuries that could not be seen even when the gown and blankets were not in place that worried her. There had been too much blood in the sitting room, more blood than she had ever hope to see come from Severus. With a sigh she leaned back in to the moderately padded chair. For the first time she noticed the rather large number of IV's that he was connected to. There had to be at least four in each arm all with a different type of medication, one even had a pouch of blood that was replenishing his depleted volume.

The last thing she remembered was her hand secure in his and her eyes focusing on the oxygen mask secured to his face.


	4. Waking

_**Thank You Jacob C Wolf for agreeing to be my Beta :D**_

"_I thought I told you not to get in the way" Tobias screamed as Severus wrapped his arms around Avielle and shoved her against the wall creating a barrier between her and the irate man. Severus stiffened his body as the first of countless blows rained down upon him slicing his skin._

"_I wasn't done with her, you good for nothing," Tobias screeched as he brought down the belt again causing Severus to hold his sister tight. He wasn't going to let Tobias get her. After what seemed like hours, the blows stopped leaving nothing but an intense burning sensation and tattered clothes._

_ The Silence that followed perplexed Severus, but he refused to let go of Avielle. Nothing ever good came from the silence that followed one of Tobias's rampages Seconds later Tobias violently grabbed Severus's arms as he tried to pry him away from Avielle. But neither of them moved. Severus's grasp around his sisters waist was to strong and the grip of her hands on his arms were not budging either. With an animalistic sound, Tobias violently shoved the pair to the floor._

"_Run Ella, Run" Severus whispered as he shoved her from under him before he attempted to distract Tobias by kicking him in the face._

"_You dirty freak!" Tobias sneered as he grabbed the outstretched leg and pulled, effectively pulling the two a part. "You'll pay for that." with quick movements Tobias had Severus up by his collar and slammed his already bleeding back into the wall. There was a decent gap between Severus's feet and the floor, but that did not prevent the obvious enraged man from holding his son with one hand and managed to get a few punches in before something collided with is head._

_ Tobias dropped Severus, who collapsed to the floor, "Why you little bitch," Tobias stated as he stomped towards her. . ._

Severus's eyes opened with a flutter. His pulse was racing and he was breathing rather quickly. He attempted to sit up, but found it difficult, and that was when he started to panic he wasn't supposed to be unable to move, he wasn't supposed to be so vulnerable. . . .

"Rus, Rus" A familiar voice called from his left "Severus." After a moment he calmed himself down long enough to focus. It was obvious he wasn't at his home, or at Hogwarts. That was when it hit him. He was in a muggle hospital. He tried not to look at his multicolored arms or the amount of tubes that went in them. Slowly a pale hand came into view and pulled something off of his face causing him to flinch. It took him a few seconds to gather himself as everything came flooding back to him in an overwhelming tidal wave, he was sure it was about to consume him. He shuddered; he didn't want to think about it, not now, not ever. Not after what was done to him, not after his mother hid somewhere in the house and let _that _happen to him.

"Severus?" The familiar voice called from his left; slowly he turned his head and noticed the two figures that sat and stood at his bed side.

"Ella?" His voice was hoarse from the choking he had received and the obvious misuse it had endured.

"Yes?" She responded, moving just a bit closer but not too much that it made him uncomfortable. He could see her face clearly, but it wasn't how he remembered it. The large bruises on her face had become nothing more than a slight discoloration that he barely noticed which was odd since he had just seen her receive it. She handed him a small plastic cup that was filled with water, and he took a good amount into his dry mouth, but he never tore his eye off her obviously healing face and the unknown woman who held something in her hand.

"How long have I been here?" Severus asked as he handed the cup back to his sister and sat up leaning his back against the stack of pillows on the bed.

"About a week and a half," This response was not from Avielle, but from the nurse that stood by her. "You were in pretty bad shape when the Ambulance brought you in, we had to keep you sedated for a few days to ensure that the worst of your injures are healed and that your blood volume returned to normal levels. But it's great that you are awake. I need to make some alterations to your chart." The nurse turned to Avielle and handed her whatever she had in her hand before she turned to leave.

"Make sure he puts that back on." The nurse stated as she reached for the curtain, "It helps him breathe with those broken ribs of his."

Avielle nodded as she placed the oxygen mask on the bed before turning back to Severus as the curtain was drawn closed.

"How do you feel?" Avielle asked in a voice that signaled she knew it was not the best question in the world.

"Like I have been hit by the Hogwarts express." Severus responded as she focused his attention on the girl in front of him and not the memories swimming beneath the surface.

"How are you?" Severus's voice was returning to the deep velvet that he had been accustomed to hearing since it broke when he was thirteen.

"Decent, I suppose." Avielle stated, her hand twitched on her lap as if she wanted to reach out and clasp his, but she thought better of it. "Tobias is in jail, can't afford bail and mother refuses to use what little money we have to get him back."

Severus nodded slowly, his mind slowly reverting back to that night. . .

"_I told you, you were going to pay." Tobias's voice was men__acing as he ripped what was left of Severus's shirt as he shoved him face first into the grimy, blood covered floor. It was as if it was in slow motion as Tobias tugged . . ._

"Severus" Avielle called to him, Severus could feel the tears well up in his eyes as he felt those mill-calloused hands run up and down upon his skin.

"Why? Ella, Why?" Severus croaked as the tears fell down his pale bruised face. The emotions that had been building up since the memory first began filling him had burst out all at once. He didn't know what was wrong with him, he usually kept himself in check emotionally and mentally, but he just could not keep his mind occluded, he could not focus on anything because the vicious act that was committed against him was shrouding him. Severus flinched almost violently as Ella closed the gap between them by sitting on his bed. And he flinched again when she carefully pulled his battered and abused body into her arms.

A loud sob escaped his lips causing his chest to hurt when he realized he was afraid of his sister's touch. Was this what Tobias wanted? Did he want him to be afraid of Avielle's touch? Did he want him to be afraid of everyone around him? Or did he just want to show him how much of a freak he was?

Sobs racked Severus's body as he cried. He rested his head on Avielle's shoulder and had his arms wound carefully around her. He hated the fact that he was afraid of the one person who cared for him so much, he knew it was normal for him to respond that way, but that did not mean it did not bother him.

Through the gown, Avielle could feel the bandages that were wrapped around Severus's torso. But those were the least of her worries as she felt her brother's hot tears soak her shirt. After a few moments, Severus released her and slumped back against his pillows with his eyes shut. Slowly, Aville replaced the oxygen mask on his face and moved back to her chair and waited.


	5. one sided

Authors note: Thank you to everyone who has read this story, I own nothing except Ella and the plot

Up until that moment when the sliding glass doors parted and she stepped forward, Lily had never set foot in the hospital in which Severus was a patient. Even though the hospital served Cokeworth too, no one in her family had ever been brought here when they were injured. Then again, no one in her family had been hurt bad enough to seek medical attention. Lily sighed as she walked in step with her father. She had put off seeing Severus as long as she could without seeming suspicious, and she was sure if she rejected this offer to see her one time friend her parents would have picked up that something was wrong in their relationship. She definitely didn't want to cause an enormous discussion between her parents about why she was no longer friends with Severus. They did not need to know that she had stooped down to everyone else's level when she called him Snivellus, and told him he should wash his underwear, but maybe they would understand if she told them it was out of anger.

Sighing Lily glanced up at the nurses desk her and her father were slowly approaching, the other reason she had not wanted to come and visit Severus was because she had let her emotions get the better of her as she ran off towards the commotion. Sure there was a part of her that still like Severus and cared for him, however, there was a large portion of her that despised him greatly for causing her such humiliation after the Defense against the Dark Arts O. last year.

"We are looking for Severus Snape." Lily heard her father ask the nurse at the station. Slowly the nurse at the desk pulled out the patient catalog and flipped it open to the 'S' section of the catalog. Half way down the page her slender finger stopped and slid across to the room number.

"He is in the ICU. It is on the second floor." The nurse stated with a small, sad smile upon her face. "The elevator is down the hall to your left."

"Thank you.' Lily's father stated with a slight nod of his head and headed off towards the elevator just a way down the corridor.

"He will be so happy to see you." Lily's father commented as they boarded the elevator and waited for the metal doors to shut. For a moment, she felt bad for leading her parents on, but they liked the Slytherin too much for her to shatter their dreams and impressions of the boy she had been friends with for the last six years of her life. After the ambulance had driven away and Avielle had gone inside, each member of her family had voiced their concern and opinion about Severus.

Petunia had voiced that Severus deserved whatever he received because he was a dreadful boy who caused nothing but problems, and she clearly didn't care what happened to him. Her mother, Rosemary, stated that she hoped Severus would have been alright and that Petunia should be more considerate of her sister's friend. Her Father, Jonathan, who had been silent for most of the walk home had stated that Severus did not deserve to be hurt so badly by someone that should have cared for him. Now, when it came to herself, Lily was uncertain how she felt about Severus being badly beaten by Tobias. A part of her, the part of her that still liked him, thought it was senseless and Severus did not deserve to be treated in such a way, but the part of her that hated him, thought it was payback for the mud blood incident. All she had done was defend him, and he repaid her by calling her such a horrid name.

Lily's thoughts froze as the elevator door opened. She certainly wasn't expecting to see Avielle standing in front of them. Her badly bruised cheek had been completely healed since she had laid eyes on her that night, when the flashing lights illuminated her bruised face and battered body.

"Mr. Evans, Lily." Avielle greeted them, her voice was even, but Lily could detect the hint of coldness that was meant for her. "Are you here to see Severus?" there was something in her voice that strongly doubted they were here to visit Severus; apparently Avielle wasn't as gullible as her, Lily's, parents.

"How is he doing?" Jonathan asked as they stepped out of elevator.

"He is doing alright," Avielle stated "He woke up the other day. They had him sedated to facilitate the healing process."

"Is he awake, at the moment?" Lily asked, hoping to get a decent response from Severus' little sister.

"He was dozing when I got up, but he will most likely be awake" Avielle stated, "They needed to give him some medication to flush his system from the sedatives they were giving him. So he should still be awake, if you go now." Avielle was trying to get away, and Lily noticed that, and apparently so did her father

"Is your mother here?" Jonathan asked as he tried to catch Avielle's eye.

"No. Mother had some things to take care of while I was gone," Avielle stated "She is going to come by and see him tomorrow."

"Is. . ."

"Listen Mr. Evans I hate to seem rude, but I need to get something taken care of before I walk home this afternoon." Avielle's voice had taken that cold tone she usually used when talking to James or Sirius, Lily never really thought she would hear it directed to her own father.

Mr. Evan's only nodded as Avielle moved by and pressed the down button on the elevators control panel. She didn't understand why they were there. They didn't seem too interested the other night when he was first brought in, so why would they care now? As she set foot into the elevator, something hit her, causing her to turn and call after the pair that slowly walked down the hall.

"Mr. Evans, Lily, He's not really comfortable with people too close!" Avielle stated loudly as she watched them turn around. For a second, something flashed in Mr. Evan's eyes that she didn't really understand while Lily just looked confused.

"Thank you for the heads-up Ella." Lily stated back as she continued walking slowly towards the ICU. Avielle had always wondered what her brother saw in the red-head as she retreated back into the elevator. Maybe it was because she was his age, or the fact that she could do magic, or because she was a reason to escape the ever escalating violence that Tobias dished out the closer they became to Hogwarts age. But for whatever the reason Severus had latched onto Lily, she really couldn't tell anyone why for she didn't fully understand. However, his friendship with Lily had been good for him, for a while but that time was now once upon a time.

Avielle was sure that Lily was only focusing on her side of this friendship and everything she went through and not the other. Severus had received tons of crap from their death eater housemates, who thought Lily wasn't worth Severus's time and the taunting that James and Sirius did for amusement continued behind the closed doors of the Slytherin common room, not for the fun of it but because they wanted to make their point.

The elevator doors slide open revealing the windowless underground corridor that contained the cafeteria and labs of the hospital. Sure, taking a break in the cafeteria was not the important thing she had to do before she went home, but she wasn't going to walk all the way to her house just to walk all the way back to see Severus. Avielle sighed as she slipped into the cafeteria and dropped ungracefully into the hard plastic chair, making a loud clashing sound, attracting a few stares from the very few people around. Avielle hoped Lily's visit would not be detrimental to Severus' progress.

Severus had just closed his eyes as he heard the curtain that enclosed his bed rustle. His body instinctually stiffened as the individual or individuals approached his bed. He knew it was not the nurses that cared for him because they either announced their presence or made enough noise to let him know they were there. And he knew it was not Avielle because she had just left and when she did come, she also announced her presence.

* * *

"See he's asleep." Severus knew the voice, he had it committed to memory after all of the time they had spent together. But he never thought he would hear it in this lifetime. Did that mean she had seen the paramedics take him out of house? Did she see Tobias being carted off to Jail for the atrocious acts he had committed? Did she know he had been violated? A rather large lump formed in his throat as these thoughts ran through his head, all at once.

"Lily" That was the voice of Mr. Evans, another voice that he had committed to memory after all the time he spent with the Evan's family. "Of course he will be resting, he sustained some serious injuries. It takes time for them to heal, I suspect that even with magic he would have to be hospitalized for a while."

Severus cracked his eyes open just enough to still appear asleep, but be able to see the two unexpected visitors. Standing next to the chair that was usually occupied by Avielle was truly, Lily Evans and her father.

"I suppose you are right." Lily replied as her eyes scanned the room before finally landing on his battered and broken body. "I just didn't think it would be this bad," Severus' ears picked up some other words that sounded like "It never was before," but he couldn't be sure. He was positive that his mind was still foggy from all of the medications the doctors had pumped into his system to stabilize him, and bring him back.

He wasn't really sure what she was doing there though, of course a part of him was happy to see her, but a part of him was suspicious as to why she was there. Lily had made it quite clear that she wanted nothing to do with him after he had called her a mud blood. Did that mean she was there because she wanted to gather things to use against him when school started again? Or was she actually concerned with his health and well-being?

From beneath his lashes, Severus watched as Lily inched closer to his bedside, causing his already tense muscles to turn rigid. His already hurt body ached even more as he fought to keep some control over himself. Just as Lily's hand was laid on top of his, he allowed his eyes to flutter open and for a second, crushed obsidian met caring emerald. The emotions he had bottled up seemed to fill him slowly.

Lily had not expected Severus's eyes to flutter open when she touched his hand, and for a brief second she caught a glimpse of the boy's tattered soul. She had never really realized that Severus was so hurt and broken. In fact, she was sure that up until that point he had never been that broken. That is when it hit her. _Something_ else happened behind the closed doors at Spinners End, something she was sure that might not have happened if she had been there. At once, all of the anger and resentment that had taken up residency in her chest seemed to deflate in one crushing blow. What was she supposed to feel now?

**Editor's Note: It is my biggest pleasure to help create such a touching and riveting tale! I cannot wait to see the next chapters. **


	6. Unexpected

Numbness filled the void that was left in Lily's chest as her eyes danced over the healing bruises that covered the boy's skin. Slowly she removed her hand from atop of his and just stared. In all the years she had known Severus, she had never seen the abuse, he suffered through, this bad. When they were younger, she had seen the bruises that were left by violent viscous grabs of the arms, but she had never known that Tobias' treatment would have led to this. Did that mean that throughout all of these years his clothing hid most of the abuse?

Lily felt her legs go numb and she placed herself in the chair before her legs gave out and she was nothing more than a lump on the ground. Lily looked down at the pale bruised hands inches from hers, and for the first time she noticed the number of tubes that were going into his arms. The part of her that still had feelings for him felt some sympathy, while the other part of her, the part that had become numb moments ago, was unsure of what to think, let alone feel.

"How are you feeling Severus?" Lily's father asked, pulling her back into reality.

"I have been better," Severus replied causing Lily to snap her head up. She wasn't expecting his usual soft velvet voice he used around her and Avielle to be hoarse and gravelly. From where she was sitting she could see the rather large, purple hand sized bruise that practically covered his neck. It made her feel sick that Severus' almost white skin was spotted with the various shades of purple, blue, green, and yellow. She had never really seen him this badly before, then again for all of the times he had been properly injured, it was at school, and by the time she had actually gotten to the hospital wing, the worst of everything was already healed leaving nothing more than a few specks of purple scattered over his ghostly white body.

"Do you know when you will be out of here?" Lily asked as she returned her eyes to his face, which didn't look much better.

"No." Severus replied, his eyes not really focusing on any particular region in the room, especially her face. "The doctor has yet to decide, he wants a word with my mother before he makes a date for me to be out of here." If Severus was lying, Lily had no idea; she could not hear the usual drop in his voice when he lied.

"Lily, I am going to step out for a second." Mr. Evan's stated as he moved towards the curtain that separated them from the rest of the patients that were just as bad as he was. "I need ask one of the nurses a question. . ." Lily watched as her father disappeared behind the partition towards the nurse's desk.

"What are you doing here?" Severus's question caught her off guard as she turned back to face him. His face openly displayed the confusion he felt, while his eyes displayed something else. . . something she could not place.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked somewhat astonished as she took in the deep bruising that appeared over his obviously broken nose.

"What are you doing here, visiting me?" Severus asked again, his ruined voice hurting her ears. "The last time I talked to you, you made it very clear you wanted nothing to do with me." Another pang ran through Lily's chest as his words finally hit her. He had not expected her to show, but could she blame him? The answer to that was no. It was true, she had made it quite clear as they stood in front of the fat lady that she wanted nothing to do with him before she stormed back into the common room, slamming the Fat Lady rather roughly in his face.

"I wanted to see how you were." Lily replied as she held his gaze. "I was at your house the night they brought you here." The first part of that sentence was a lie. She actually had no intention of showing up to see him, but he didn't need to know that.

"Are you sure you wanted to see how I was, or do you want something to report back to your buddies?" Severus asked, as his voice grew softer than before as he turned his head away from her. However from where she sat she could still see the tears forming in his eyes. Had she really hurt him that bad? Had she hurt him bad enough to destroy the delicate trust they had established between them?

"Why would I do that?" Lily asked, just because she had joined them in taunting him that one time, didn't mean she had any desire to help James antagonize Severus. After all James had that down to a science. From hexing the Slytherin in the halls during passing, to shoving him down the stairs, to the humiliating incident where she was most likely sure James did go through with his threat and everything else in-between; the leader of the Marauders did not need any help when it came to antagonizing Severus.

"You had no problem helping them before," Severus stated; the tears were now close to cascading down his face "and from what I heard you were smiling when they had me hanging upside down. So I just thought maybe you would want a good laugh." Lily's heart froze. She definitely had not expected to hear him say that, she had been sure that no one had seen her smiling, though now thinking about it Avielle had been there. . .

"Severus," Lily stated as she finally saw the first tear roll down his face before he turned almost completely away. "I would not tell them anything about your personal life. I have more respect for you than to just throw you to the dogs. . . ."

"Lily." Mr. Evan's called as he moved back into view his eyes quickly scanning over Severus' form as he faced the curtains way from them. Lily was sure that her father could not see the tears that were streaming down the Slytherin's face. "We should let Severus rest, I am sure he is tired and the nurses need to give him his medication." With a nod, Lily stood from the chair and moved towards the spot that her father had vacated just seconds before. With a quick glance over her shoulder, Lily's heart dropped. Severus' shoulders where shaking as soft sobs escaped, he was crying.


	7. Quick Change of the Mind

Eileen felt her body tremble as she sank into the badly battered couch that stood in front of the unlit hearth. She had always known that Tobias was no longer the man she married; his demeanor had changed while their children were growing up, he had become increasingly violent as the small burst of accident magic came from Severus then Avielle, but she never would have thought that his morals would have jumped out the window too. But it was apparent that they had as she reread through the letter he had sent her in the mail.

_Eileen,_

_ Don't you love me anymore? After everything I have done for you and yet here you have left me in this cold and lonely jail cell without you. Have you forgotten that without me you would have nothing, not even those wonderful children of ours? How can I help support our family if I remain locked up behind these cold prison walls? It won't take much to bail me out, I Promise I will clean up, and the incident with Severus? It will never happen again. Just get me out of here and you will see._

_Tobias._

Eileen wanted to believe her husband, but the question was would he really change? Or would it just go back to normal, the normal that had landed her eldest child in the hospital and destroyed all the trust her youngest had for her. The sudden slamming of the back door caused her to jump and look up in enough time to see Avielle as she attempted to round the stairs without being noticed.

Eileen knew her daughter blamed her for what Tobias did to Severus, but how was she supposed to know that her husband would stoop low enough to not only attempt to kill her boy but rape him in the process.

"Ella." Eileen stated, "Your father sent a letter to me." Eileen could see Avielle's body tense at the mention of Tobias

"What did he say?" The younger witch asked as she turned to face her mother who was holding out the letter. With trembling fingers, Avielle grasped the rather dingy paper and read. As her violet eyes scanned the page, Eileen could see the color rising in her face.

"He can't be serious, can he?!" Avielle finally spat as she thrust the paper at her mother. "You aren't going to bail him out are you?" There was a pleading note in the angry voice that echoed in the room.

"I really don't know." Eileen stated looking Avielle in the eyes.

"What do you mean, you mean you don't know? How could you not know?" Avielle snapped, did her mother not understand what that would mean if she let him come back?

"Ella, it is not that simple."

"Of course it is Mother." Avielle shouted as she slammed her foot into the side of the stairs. "If he comes back, they will take Severus and me away. If they take us, we won't come back. They would not let us, and personally, even if I could, I wouldn't. Not if you would trade your children for some bastard that takes pleasure in hurting people…"

"Do you actually think that he would go back to the man you married." Avielle asked after a few moments of Silence, her anger back under control. "He's just trying to manipulate you so he can be free to be belligerent and drink and be careless. What he did to Severus was not an incident and he would do it again. He loves causing Severus to hurt and Tobias has just discovered a new way to hurt him, one that will affect him so much more than the beatings."

Eileen looked down at the dusty floor as those words left Avielle's lips. She did not want to make a decision, she never had, and that was why she was still here, in this house with Tobias. Even after he was fired from the mill for showing up drunk after Severus began to display his magical abilities. She wanted to protect her children, but she had no way to provide for them. At least Tobias had ways to acquire money, and what small amount he did not waste on alcohol went to her children.

Lily stood on the rather old and deteriorating steps that lead to the beat up front door that kept Severus's demons for years. Behind her, in the street, was her father. He had brought the car to take Severus's mother to the hospital, but that was if she wanted a ride.

Taking a deep breath, Lily knocked rather loudly on the decrepit door. She could hear the deep sound echo through the silent neighborhood as she turned to face her father's peering face. Lily was just about to descended the steps back to the familiar interior of the car when the door behind her creaked open. In the doorway was a woman maybe in her mid to late forties with lank, greasy black hair and a slight hooked nose. The Gryffindor could see Severus's most distinguished features in the woman who must have been a good four inches shorter than she was.

Behind Eileen was a rather beat up wall whose wall paper was peeling at the top while the carpet was frayed and stained with what Lily hoped was varnish. There was no real discernible source of light that dimly lit what would have been a dark and dingy entrance way or the rooms it branched off into. Just before the darkness, Lily could make out the stairs in which Avielle was frozen on.

"Mrs. Snape?" Lily asked. Receiving a nod from the woman as she looked at the woman in front of her, "My father and I were curious if you would like a ride to see Severus today."

"And you are?" Eileen asked rather softly, her black eyes fixed on Lily's green. "Are you that Evans girl my boy always hangs around with?"

"Yes Ma'am" For a moment, the woman appeared as if she would say something, but stopped herself before she did.

"Are you sure you want to give me a ride to visit Severus? I don't want to put the two of you out." Eileen stated as she gave a backwards glance towards the now vacant stair case.

"Yes." Lily replied as she shoved her hands into her jeans. "It is a rather long walk to the hospital and we were going to go see him anyway." The Woman nodded before turning around and walking away, leaving the door wide open.

Five minutes later, lily could see her at the base of the stairs. The blatantly empty house echoed her words as she spoke.

"Are you sure Ella? I would think he would be happy to see you." Apparently the woman did not want to go alone. Avielle's response was mumbled, and the woman hung her head in defeat as she made her way back to the door. Lily made her way down the steps as Eileen locked the door to the house and made her way to the car. Lily held the passenger door open for Severus's mother before getting into the back seat. As they pulled away from the curb, Lily glanced back in time to see Avielle standing in the window that over-looked the dingy street.

The car ride was filled with an awkward silence that told Lily that Eileen probably knew what had happened during the last month of school. And it made her wonder if the only people who did not know where her parents. Gossip tended to spread through the halls of Hogwarts like a fiend fire and the entire school had known what James had done to Severus by dinner that night, and she was sure parents knew about it by the time the post came in during breakfast the next morning.

"Have you seen Severus yet?" Lily's father asked as they pulled into the parking lot of the hospital.

"No, I have been taking care of some things around the house" Eileen replied as she opened her door. "But Ella has made it almost every day since then. She's close to her brother."

Lily nodded her head in agreement. She had always known that much. Severus often alternated between discussing his parent's rocky marriage, to his sister, to potions, to the dark arts. But most of the time their conversations were about Avielle and potions and just things that were happening in general.

Lily stood behind the two adults as they filed into the lobby of the hospital. She just wanted to avoid all conversation with the two people leading the way, her father's questions would make her uncomfortable and the fact that Severus's mother was there didn't help matters either. Then again, with everything that had happened over the last two weeks, just thinking about everything that had happened up to yesterday's visit made her feel uncomfortable. It was the two parts of her battling it out. And right now, no one was winning, she wanted to stay mad at him, but after seeing him fall apart yesterday, she did not think she could.

Severus stared at the monochromatic ceiling. He was bored, in pain, and in want of a shower. All of the time he had spent thinking was not doing anything for him. It just made him remember the rough calloused hands that had clawed at his clothes and held him down against the grimy floor as he had his way.

The Slytherin shivered at the thought. He would rather soon forget than have those horrid moments of his life drift forward as he let his guard down. If that always happened when he did, then what would happen when he was released and allowed his guard down around Avielle, did that mean he would be wreck worse than he already was? Maybe what Tobias did to him was karma's way of getting him back for calling his best friend a mud blood after she had defended him while James was assaulting him for everyone to see. Maybe it was karma's way of getting back, after he had practically screamed at Avielle when she came after Potter and his friends had left him there after they had humiliated him.

A strangled noise came from his throat as he found a way to bring his still sore legs up to his chest. It just seemed that no matter how hard he tried, fate was against him. Even now as one of the numerous nurses came to remove one of the numerous IV's that he was connected to. Severus watched her with wary eyes as she grasped his multicolored arm and followed the tube she was to remove to the needle that was shoved into his blue veins. He knew she was watching him out of the corner of her eye, but if it was to make sure he did not jump while she removed the needle or because his knees were to his chest, he didn't know. In fact all he knew was his arm hurt as she placed pressure on the needle before withdrawing it from his arm.

"No visitor today dear?" The nurse asked as she removed the bag from the hanger and placed it in the biohazard container. Severus shook his head when the young woman turned around. There was a rather sad look upon her face as if she pitied him for being there, for what Tobias had done.

"The girl that visits you often, is she your sister?" The nursed asked as she grabbed the chart from its place at the footboard of the bed and began to scribble down his vitals. Severus nodded again as he continued to watch nurse that was so close.

Five minutes later she left, leaving Severus there in silence. Maybe he should have struck up a conversation with her, but he didn't really like the sound his voice made when he spoke. He knew it would get better, but he did not really appreciate hearing the echo of the gravelly voice in his head.

Eileen paid no attention to the man in front of her or the girl behind her. To her they were just shadows that had brought her here. It was out of her character that she had accepted their invitation for a ride, but she was certain she would have never have made it if they had not. Instead she would probably be penning a reply to Tobias, or thinking over what Avielle had stated. But right now she was only focused on the child she had abandoned as he grew into the lank teen he was today. Her neglect had led them here, to the hospital. From what Avielle had stated, Severus was doing marginally well for being taken care of by muggles. But he had bruising on more than seventy five percent of his body as well as a few broken bones and internal injuries. So Eileen should not have been surprised at the sight that welcomed her as she followed Jonathan behind the curtain that hid her son from the rest of the world.

Any thought of allowing Tobias back into that house flew out the window as her eyes fell upon Severus's face. Even though she had memorized almost every feature of his face, the molted bruising on his face and his broken nose made it difficult. For a few moments, Severus stared at the corner of his bed before he flicked his gaze towards them. His black eyes falling on each of their faces before he finally locked his gaze with hers.

There was no hiding the pain that was living inside of him; slowly she stepped forward, watching him flinch as she did so. But she knew that was to be expected, however that did not stop her from maneuvering around his bed so she could gather him in her arms and hold him.

"I am so sorry Severus" she whispered as she held her boy in her arms, "I am so sorry this had to happen to you."


	8. I still care

Lily had no idea why she was there, or why she was so close to Severus as he laid asleep several floors above the ICU. The doctor had cleared him to be released from intensive care a few days before, but that still did not tell her why she was there. Maybe it was because she wanted to see if the scenery changed as you moved room to room. Maybe it was because the part of her that still liked him was slowly over-powering the part of her that had come to hate what he had become. But truthfully how could she hate the boy that was slowly healing in front of her. This Severus was not the Severus that was constantly on guard for fear of being taunted by James Potter, this was not the Severus who was constantly defensive because he was afraid of being hurt. This Severus had been broken, he had been hurt far beyond his breaking point and he had finally snapped and had become the boy who had become afraid of touch.

She had seen it when his mother had approached him, sure she knew that Severus and Eileen did not have a particularly strong relationship, but Lily was certain that Eileen had never raised a hand towards either one of her children. Nevertheless, the flinch was there, the only marker that something bad had happened to her friend. Now that she thought about it, he had openly flinched when she had first come to see him, but she thought that was to be expected after being beaten so severely. She never really thought that Tobias could have done anything worse to him than what he already had, but apparently she was wrong.

But Lily didn't want to think about that right now, right now all she wanted was to focus on how much he had healed since she had first seen him a week before. A good majority of the IV's that he had been connected to seven days ago had been removed and by what she had managed to overhear, most of the remaining medications that were constantly being pumped into his blood stream had been dosed down immensely. The blue and purple molting on his face had slowly progressed to a rather deep yellow and pale green that should be cleared up by the time he was discharged in another five to seven days. Lily sighed as she leaned back against the cushioned chair, allowing her eyes to drift over the room before they fell on his face, locking with obsidian eyes.

Severus was groggy as he opened his eyes to the room he had transferred to. He had spent a good portion of the last few days sleeping. He wasn't particularly sure if it was the lack of medication that made him tired, or if it was his own body trying to heal itself that much faster, but whatever it was, it was driving him crazy. He had never spent this much time sleeping, even when he was at school in the hospital wing. It took a few seconds for him to fully wake, it took a little longer for him to register that there was someone in the chair next to his bed. Slowly he turned his head and found the last person he had expected. Lily's attention for the moment was not on him, but he could tell by the way she had been sitting that she had been observing him for some time. At first he thought about asking her what she was doing in his room, but he did not want to chase her away. She was the first visitor he had had since they had moved him. And as much as he hated the fact that she was so close to him, he still liked the fact that she had shown up without her father to see him.

He had no clear idea how long he had been watching her before her emerald eyes locked with his onyx ones. There was no missing the surprise that was evident in the Gryffindors captivating orbs and as Severus looked deeper into the clear green glass, there was something else there, something he had not seen in years. He could not quite put a name to it just yet, but he knew something had changed.

"It's not polite to stare." Lily stated once she recovered.

"It's not polite to show up unannounced at ones bedside." Severus stated, his voice was slowly returning back to the deep velvet it had been for quite some time.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Severus asked as he finally drew his eyes away from hers, making it look like he found the side of his bed fascinating.

"I want to see how you were." Lily replied as she shifted in her seat causing him to stiffen for a few seconds before he relaxed.

"Are you sure you wanted to see how I was?" Severus asked as he tugged at band that was secured around his wrist identifying him as Snape, Severus Tobias. "I am sure. . ."

"Severus don't start." Lily interrupted as she rested her elbows on her knees. "I am sure that I am here to see how you were. I wanted to see how you had healed since the last time I saw you. I know right now you trust me just as much as I trust you, which is not a lot, but there is a part of me that still cares about you Severus."

Lily examined the blanket that hung over the side of the bed as the words left her mouth. By now she had figured out that the aspect of her that still wanted him was winning and there was no harm in trying to rebuild something that had been demolished right? That was what Eileen was attempting to do after spending the greater part of Severus's life pretending not to care, right?

"Are you sure about that?" Severus asked causing her to look up. There was something in his face that told her he doubted what she had said, and she could not blame him. Who would really care for the person who called you mud-blood anyway? No one she knew.

"Am I sure about what? That there is still some aspect of me that cares for you?" Lily asked as she tried to capture Severus's gaze, but was unsuccessful.

"Yes." Severus replied, his fingers beginning to tug at the hospital bracelet that surrounded his wrist. "I mean, who would expect you to say that to me? I know I would not. Especially with the way you have been increasingly ignoring and avoiding me since second year. Or maybe it is the fact that you obviously enjoy watching Potter and his cronies when they want to publically humiliate me."

Lily should have known that Severus would have brought that up again, but could she really blame him? After all, the mud blood comment was over his head so why can't the fact she had smiled when they had levitated him the first time hang over hers.

"Are you always going to bring that up?"

"Are always going to remember that I called you a mud-blood?"


	9. homecoming

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry POtter

"Are you always going to bring that up?"

"Are always going to remember that I called you a mud-blood?"

Something flashed in Severus's eyes that Lily could not place as the word rolled of his tongue onto his lips and into the air. They both knew the answer to the question at hand. She would never forget the fact he had called her a mud-blood and she was sure he would never forget that she had literally left him hanging. However that did not mean that they could not be friends right? It was the same principle that applied to the marauders wasn't it? She was friends with Remus but could hardly stand Sirius and James and Peter then she could rebuild her friendship with Severus even with their misdeeds towards each other were hanging over their heads like neon signs that flashed on and off.

"Does it make a difference if I do?" Lily asked causing his head to jerk up rather fast, revealing his yellowing neck. The finger marks that had been there before were nothing more than a large mass of yellow that contrasted rather nastily against the patch of pale skin. "You are always going to remember that day just as well as I do. That does not mean we have to focus on the bad in it does it?"

"Doesn't me we have to focus on the good either." Severus replied as he finally turned his head so his attention was on the ceiling. "All it means is things just won't be the same. Nothing is going to go back to the way it was anyway."

Severus doubted that Lily had any intention to rekindle their friendship that had ended rather abruptly and almost violently, so he didn't see why everything was changing now. But he wasn't going to say anything. Some part of him that had not been torn into pieces by her persistent rejection of his apology still wanted her around. However, there was some aspect of him that was uncertain if he would take her back as a friend. Why would he want to put himself through the pain, anger, and bitterness that Avielle had to form into some decent working being that could barely function on the basic level?

But whatever he decided, it would not be one made rather quickly and without consideration. He did not need the extra stress of keeping someone happy while he was attempting to convince himself that the rough hands that he felt violating his body were not there. Besides he doubted that Lily would want him after she discovered how dirty and weak he was. How could he pretend to be a man when he could not fight of a muggle who had used and abused him? How could he protect anyone he loved if he could not protect himself?

The person that was staring back at him did not look like himself, or so Severus thought as he stared at the refection of himself in the mirror in the bathroom connected to his hospital room. The majority of bruises had faded leaving nothing more than a jaundice appearance to his skin and arms. Under the shirt his mother had brought lay tightly wound bandages that kept his broken ribs in place as he moved around. Beneath the three quarter sleeves the healing needle marks left by the IV's were hidden from view. But it was not just injures or the color of his skin that did not look like himself. It was the empty broken look in his eyes that made him weary of himself.

"Severus?" Eileen's voice was soft as she peered into the rather cramped space. He knew she could see him leaning against the sink, his hands grasping the edge of the cabinet as he attempted to remain on his own two feet,

"Yes, Mother?" Severus asked his voice rather soft as he turned just far enough he could see her out of the corner of his eye. To tell the truth he had expected Avielle to be the one leaning into the bathroom, looking at him through her violet eyes and questions she knew he would never answer on her lips, but instead, he had his mother, which he supposed was just as good.

"The nurse was wondering if you were ready to leave." There was something different in her voice that he just couldn't place, maybe it was because it had been nearly a decade since he had heard that specific tone, or maybe it was because he was still slightly under the influence of whatever they had been giving him to ward off infection and the intense pain that ran through his chest when he breathed.

"Yeah" Severus replied as he returned his gaze to the mirror. His heart was racing at the thought of going back to that house, but it was not like he had a choice right? Where would he go? He had no other family besides his mother and his sister, and no one else was likely to take him in, especially not with what Tobias did to him.

Moments later, the nurse that had been tending to him appeared in the door way with a black wheelchair in front of her. The same small smile that had been on her face every day since he had been moved up to this floor was still apparent now as she locked the wheels and waited. Slowly and with the aid of the wall to his right Severus made his way into the chair. It felt strange for him to be in anything other than a hospital bed, Sure they had gotten him up to walk to build up his strength so he could be ready to go home, but he had never been in a wheelchair until that moment.

Eileen was silent as she walked behind the nurse that was pushing her son down to the lobby. What was there for her to say? She knew that he had not expected to see her there. And for the way their relationship had been she could not blame him. She had abandoned him when he needed her the most. Avielle had taken to pointing that out every time a new letter from Tobias appeared in the post. But she was bound and determined to be there for him now. She would be there for him as he healed from the abuse he suffered.

Lily had no idea what to expect as the elevator doors opened and the nurse wheeled out Severus. Maybe she thought he would walk out on his own accord with his mother behind him or maybe she thought he would attempt to sneak out with being detected like he always attempted at school. But, whatever she had been expecting this certainly was not it. Maybe if he wasn't leaning to one side resting his head on the one arm that was on the arm rest. Maybe if he his hair did not hide his face from view, he may have looked like the proud boy she knew he was. But Severus that was now stopped in front of her looked broken, now that she thought about it. Just like he had when she had first came by to visit him in the hospital.

"Ready to leave Severus?" Lily asked as she put on a small smile. At her question Severus picked up his head and centered himself with a flinch that she was sure do to the bandages that were wrapped around his middle.

"I suppose." Severus replied, his voice as smooth as ever, but there was something off in his eyes something she could not place and that bothered her more than his coldness to her,

"That's good I guess." Lily replied as she redirected her attention to the nurse who stood ever so patiently behind Severus's wheelchair. "My father is waiting outside to take him home," The nurse nodded before motioning for the redhead to lead the way. The summer heat was intense compared to the cool hospital lobby that she had been standing in.

The warm air felt pleasant against Severus' cold skin as they burst out of the cool hospital. He had been mildly surprised when Lily had told the nurse that they were taking him home, he had figured his mother had asked one of the neighbors she occasionally did work for to bring him home. But he supposed that riding with the Evan's was probably better than riding with someone he hardly knew and would most likely expect something in return. Mr. Evans leaned on the passenger side of his car his hand on the door handle as he waited for them to arrive.

"I am glad to see you are ready to go home Severus." Mr. Evans stated as he pulled open the rear passenger side door as the nurse stopped the wheelchair, locking the wheels in place.

"Thank you, Sir" Severus stated as he grasped the rather warm metal of the car door and pulled himself up. He was glad that Mr. Evans only held the door and made no attempt to help him into the car as he managed to slump into the warm interior.

"Everything alright?" Mr. Evans asked as he held the door open for a few more seconds.

"Yes, sir" Severus replied as he glanced up at the man. Maybe he would have been better off with the stranger Severus thought as he caught the other man's eye. There was something there, something that told Severus he knew wha had happened.

If Eileen thought that the silence that often filled the space between her husband and children was awkward she was sadly mistaken. The silence that filled the car was tense and silent as just as uncomfortable as any she had experienced in her home if not more so. Mr. Evans was tense as if he had something to say yet he was unsure how to ask, behind her Severus leaned against the door and silently stared out the window ignoring the pitiful glances Lily was giving him out of the corner of her eye.

If moving did not hurt him so bad, Severus would have jumped out of the Evans' car as soon as it stopped in front of the house. The vehicle was beyond comfortable and he was sure of that. Lily had been throwing him pitiful glances as well as her father who constantly looked in the rearview mirror, unspoken questions apparent on his lips. He didn't want their pity; he didn't want anything except to get out of that car and into that house and into the shower. Hell the shower could wait, he just wanted out of the damn car.

"Thank you for bring Severus home Mr. Evans." Severus heard his mother say as she got out of the car and opened his door. If Mr. Evans attempted to get out of the car to help him, he wasn't sure, he wasn't truly paying attention. As soon as he was free of the car, Severus made his way into the house. With a little help from the stair railing.

As soon as Severus let the door shut behind him, he felt at ease, there was no pressure to be who he used to be. He didn't have to be the Severus they wanted him to be, in side he could be the person he was, the person who needed to heal.


	10. Nightmares

The spray of the shower stung Severus' wounded body as he stood under the cascade of hot water, cleansing the bruises and particularly deep cuts that had been wrapped in bandages. Despite the pain, Severus enjoyed the fact that he finally had gotten the shower he had so desperately wanted. However it did not make him feel any cleaner than it normally would have. He could still feel the harsh hands that had abused him against his skin even as he scrubbed away at his pale and scarred skin, making it red and angry.

It seemed like hours that Severus stood under the spray of the shower in an attempt to get that feeling off his skin, but all it really did was irritate his skin even more and soon the water turned cold and Severus grudgingly turned it off. At least with the rhythmic pounding of the water against his skin, he could drown out the thoughts that were running through his head. Maybe he wasn't meant to be here just yet. Maybe he wasn't ready to come home like they had thought. With a heavy sigh, the teen slowly stepped out of the shower and dried his body and applied the salve he had hidden in the bathroom last summer before getting dressed.

Severus knew he was nowhere near his normal self just yet, sure he could walk but that was with th aid of something and the time he had spend in the shower had worn him out but at least he no longer smelled like the hospital, or the Evan's car. After double checking to make sure he had covered all of his still sore wounds and re wrapped his ribs to the best of his ability. He proceeded to his bedroom.

The early evening light was still streaming in through the grim covered window, illuminating the two twin beds that lined each wall. It seemed strange for Severus to be standing between the two beds. It had been weeks since he had actually shared a room with anyone, but he hoped that sleeping with someone so close would not freak him out. Sighing, Severus pulled back the sheets on his mad bed ad crawled under the blankets before turning so the light would not be in his face.

He wasn't sure how long he laid there with his eyes closed facing away Avielle's bed before he heard soft footsteps ascending the stairs. Severus felt his body automatically tense as the footsteps came closer and entered the room. The sound paused for a moment before getting louder, he could feel someone watching him and seconds later he felt a hand run through hair. He was sure that if he was not already painfully rigid and faking sleep he would have freaked.

"It's good to see you home, Severus" Avielle stated quietly before pulling away and heading out of the room.

_. . . Tobias dropped Severus, who collapsed to the floor, "Why you little bitch," Tobias stated as he stomped towards her. _

_Severus could feel the hot blood running down his face as his head dropped forward. For a second, he thought about just giving up and sitting there, but then that would just mean that the drunken bastard won, and he would be damned if that happened. _

_From across the room, Avielle screamed causing Severus to snap his head up rather fast and quite painfully. Across the rather small room, Avielle was pinned to the wall by one of Tobias' string arms while his other arm was well above his head, his thick belt in hand . . . ._

_He was pinned to the floor; Tobias's knees were digging into his thighs as one of his large hands wrapped itself around his throat. The door to the closet in the corner shook violently as Avielle threw herself against it to open it, but it refused to budge. _

"_I am going to make you pay boy." Tobias growled as a deranged smile appeared on his lips. The grip on his throat tightened causing his vision to be colored with black spots before the grip was released. Severus gasped for breath and that had become a chore. . . _

_Severus closed his eyes as he felt the hot, wet breath in his ear. . _

A scream ripped through Severus' throat as he bolted right up. It seemed like hours as the cold harsh sounds echoed through his chest and into the room. As the heart stopping sound died away, Severus closed his eyes as his chest heaved as he attempted to even out his breathing. His hands had a painful white knuckled grip on his sheets. As he attempted to get his heart to stop pounding, but that was difficult. He had expected Tobias to burst into the room, belt in hand, but instead all there was, was someone's warm hand on top of his. He fought the urge to pull away, knowing that the person would not hurt him, but he could not help the compulsion.

Seconds later the bedroom light clicked on, illuminating the room, causing him to open his eyes. He could see Avielle kneeling next to his bed, her hand lay were his was moments before. Turning slightly he could see his mother standing in the door way.

"I'm sorry." Severus finally whispered as shame and pain filled his chest as he eased his grip on the sheet and turned his gaze towards the window. He had woken both his sister and mother with his nightmare. There was no reason for him to scream; maybe he was as weak as Tobias said he was.

"Severus, there is nothing to be sorry about." His mother stated as she moved from the door way to occupy the small space of empty bed by his side. He could feel Avielle shift to accommodate their mother, but neither of them said anything. As the silence stretched between them, Severus could finally feel the tears he had been fighting back burn his eyes as they began to run down his pale face. He really was weak Severus thought as his shoulders began to tremble and shake as a sob escaped his lips.

"It's alright Severus." His mother stated softly as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him toward her. He relinquished his grip on the sheets instead grabbing a fist full of Eileen's night robe as he cried. His body shook painfully in her arms and he wasn't particularly sure if he wanted her to hold him or leave him alone. He hated being so confused about himself and it just made him sob harder. He had lost himself, worse than he had when Lily stopped talking to him, but this time he wasn't sure if anyone could fix him.

"It's alright to cry Severus." Eileen heard herself whisper as she rubbed circles on her son's scarred back. Hot tears were soaking into her night robe and her heart ached every time her eldest gave a shudder before a sob escaped his lips. This was what her husband had done; this is what the man who had vowed to love and protect her had done to her baby. This was the reason her daughter had a fit when she had read the letters from Tobias, and this was why she was not going to let that pathetic excuse for a man back into the house. He had hurt her Severus, the Severus who use to have a charming smile and a laugh that carried on, but she knew that was gone. However, that did not mean that she could not facilitate the long road Severus had in front of him.

After what was most likely an hour, Severus's breathing evened out and pulled away. Silently he wiped his eyes on the back of his hands as he hid his face behind the curtain long lank black hair. Eileen withdrew her gaze from her son, to stare at Avielle, who was still kneeling at the side of the bed. Her violet eyes were rimmed with tears, yet she remained silent as Severus continued to dry his face. Before Severus revealed his tear stained face, Avielle wiped the unshed tears from her eyes so he would not see her on the verge of tears.

That was the one thing that got Eileen when it came to her children; they had the ability to be strong for each other even when she had not been strong for either of them. Maybe that was what had made them so close growing up? Because Merlin knows that by the time her boy was five, she had lost all motivation and Tobias had began to drink constantly to hide whatever insecurities about himself he began to form. And slowly he began to turn to the man he was today. The man that her children hated with such an intense passion it most likely rivaled her own at this point.

"I'll be alright" Severus stated as he looked up. His eyes were rimmed red and his face was tear stained and looked far from alright, but there was nothing that could be done at that time of night.

"Are you sure?" Eileen asked as she rested her hand on his arm. "I can stay here if you would like."

"I will be fine." Severus replied as he "you don't need to stay up with me, and I have Avielle in here if I need anything."

"Alright Severus." Eileen stated as she leaned forward and kissed his forehead before removing herself from his bed. "Good night"

"Good night Mother" Severus replied as he turned onto his side and faced the wall.

"Good night" Avielle stated as she got back into bed and turned to face the wall as well.

Eileen stood in the doorway for a few moments before turning off the light with a sigh.

They would have to talk in the morning.

**Auntors note: I would liek to thank everyone who has stayed with this story. I created a facebook account which i give updates on storys porgress while i work on chapters : www . facebook Sevs .little .girl, just remove teh spaces or follwo teh link on my profile page**


	11. Early Morning Conversations

Eileen gazed out the grimy window as the sun began to shine. She had found it quite difficult to get back to sleep after Severus' nightmare. She had known that her baby had relived the night he was violated and the way he had screamed had echoed in her ears for hours afterward. She had felt absolutely horrid as she lay there awake in the bed that she had shared with Tobias thinking about what the man she had once loved had done. She had no idea where the man she had married had disappeared to, the man that had loved both of their children. With a sigh she tore her gaze from the bright light and turned to stare at the desolate kitchen. The horrid feeling she had had before intensified as she looked at the rather deplorable state of it. It had not always been that way thought, when Severus had been five it had been remodeled, but that was before Tobias became the drunkard that attacked innocent children.

With a deep breath, Eileen sat at the head of the table, resting her head in her hands. How did she let things get so bad? Why did she allow this to happen, she was suppose to protected her children, not allow them to be beaten within an inch of their lives. She was on the verge of tears when the sound of creaking stairs alerted her someone was up. With quick fingers she wiped away the tears in her eyes and glanced up to see Severus standing there. His shoulders were slumped in embarrassment and shame, his head as down causing his long lank hair to hide his pale face, his thin arms were wrapped around his middle protectively as he leaned against the door frame.

"You should be resting" Eileen stated as she pushed herself out of her chair and approached him, "Your injuries haven't healed completely Severus."

"I – I couldn't – can't – sleep" He replied, his voice cracking as he looked up, tears streaming down his face "I felt- felt him on me... in me" a sob escaped his lips at his confession as he leaned on the door frame even more.

"Oh Severus" Eileen whispered as she pulled him into her arms as he sobbed, flinching as she did so "Why didn't you call for me?"

"I- I didn't w- want to wake either of you up" he murmured into her neck, "I- it was b- bad enough i-i woke you two last night"

"Oh honey" she whispered as she guided him to the nearest chair, her arms still securely around him. "It doesn't matter if you would have woken us up, that's what we are here for, we are hear to help you get through this."

"I-I just don't want to bur-burden you and Avielle with- with my problem" He sobbed as he grabbed her robe  
"Severus, listen to me, please" Eileen stated as she stroked his hair. "You are not going to burden us by telling us how you feel, there is nothing wrong with getting things off of your chest, especially when it involves what you went through. It's not healthy to keep everything inside, alright?"

Severus nodded as he shoulders shook harder, he was a wreck. Being back in the house had evoked everything he had managed to forget in the unfamiliar hospital and it was slowly getting to him. He had only been home for less than a day and yet he could already feel the pressure of Tobias' body atop of his. Was it suppose to feel like this? Was he suppose to feel those gross hands travel over his body as he laid in bed in the early hours in the morning after seeing it in his dreams? And how was he going to cope with living in a dorm with four other boys when he feared being touched?

"We will get you through this Severus" He heard his mother state as he leaned into her, tears still streaming from his eyes. "You don't have to go through this alone, you suffered enough when he took you, there is no need for you to suffer anymore."

Severus nodded as he allowed his mother to hold him closer as he cried, he couldn't remember he did this other than last night, Was this what normal kids did when they were upset? Could they rely on their mothers instead of holding everything inside because they had mothers that cared? Severus shoved those thoughts from his head. He didn't need to think about that right now, not when he already had other things on his mind like coping and getting better. If the boys in his dorm found out what had been done to him, they would never let him live it down, let alone let him forget that it was a muggle that had raped him. They would pound that into his head, he was sure of it.

The boys he roomed with didn't particularly like him, and that was a mutual feeling, but they had the same past time as the Marauders, only their taunts didn't end when the lights went out, they continued until one of them fell asleep or until Avielle sat on his bed while he helped her with lessons. But other than that he was considered free game.

"Severus?"

"Yes?" he replied as he pulled away, drying his eyes on the sleeves of his night shirt

"We need to talk, I would wait for Avielle, but it would be easier if I just talked to you first" Severus looked at his mother, his heart racing, what did she want to talk about? It probably wasn't good if she didn't want his sister to be a part of it.

"I am not sure if it is a good idea for you to return to Hogwarts this year..." she began he looked away from her, horrified. Him not going back? Hogwarts was his home, its were he felt marginally safe when he wasn't around Potters gang and his own dorm mates.

"Why-why do you say that?" he asked as he examined his hands, he didn't want to look at her, he was sure he knew the answer. He wasn't ready. He had spent a good amount of time in the muggle hospital and for the few hours he had been back, he was a wreak, but what did she expect, he had been hurt in that house, he had to walk by _that_ room to go up stairs.

"Say what?" Severus turned to see Avielle in the doorway, she looked tired just like the rest of them, but there was something in her eyes that told him, she already knew.

Avielle had been awake for sometime, she had been awake when Severus got up, she had seen heard him attempting to hold back his tears as he relived something he shouldn't have to. She had followed him down stairs and had heard much of what was said. She was about to go back upstairs when she heard her mother bring up the idea of Severus staying home.  
"Why-why do you say that?" Severus asked his voice cracking as her heart broke. It was easy for her mother to bring the suggestion up, she didn't realize that the school had become his refuge. Severus had come to associate Hogwarts with safety, with Lily. It wouldn't do him any good to stay there in that house anyway. Not after what she had seen this morning and last night. It was just making him relive the horrid way he lost his virginity.

She couldn't and wouldn't hear the answer her mother gave him, instead she moved into the door way.

"Say what?" She asked as Severus snapped around rather quickly, she knew that he could tell she had been eves dropping on their conversation.

"Maybe Severus should stay home from Hogwarts this year" Eileen stated as she looked at her. "It would give him a chance to heal and next year the both of you could be sixth years."

Severus looked mortified at the suggestion, and she really couldn't blame him, he was already getting bullied enough by pretending everything was alright, she could only imagine what would happen if he came back next year.

"Don't you think that would cause more problems then it solves?" She asked "I know he has to heal mother, anyone that has gone through what he has endured has to, but I don't think staying here would help him at all, I mean after all this is where he was hurt in the first place, and if the past day has been any indicator, He's not going to get anywhere by being locked up here"

"Maybe it is too early to have this conversation." Eileen sighed as she looked at her daughter before looking at Severus. "We will talk about this later, right now Severus needs to get some rest, and I need to make a follow up appointment for him."

Avielle looked at her mother for a moment, stunned. Over the past few weeks all they had done was fight over Severus and Tobias, and now, now she was agreeing with her. Maybe seeing Severus crumble as he slowly fell apart made her finally realize what she had happened was not a figment of her imagination but some horrid truth.

"Come on Rus" Avielle stated softly as she offered him a hand, something he took with hesitation. She smiled despite how tired she was, he really didn't deserve to go though this, he had already been through so much already. "You need to get some rest"

Severus gingerly took the offered hand, he wasn't going to fight her, not now, he was tired and so was she. He had prevented her from sleeping, yet she had defending him. She was always defending him, always. That was what had landed her in the closet while Tobias raped him. He shuttered again as they walked past the room heading up stairs. Maybe he wasn't ready to go to Hogwarts, but he wasn't ready to be back in that house either


	12. Just stay home

Severus lay there listening to Avielle's steady breathing as he tried to regain his own. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest. He was sure if he paid close attention he could see it. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he shoved the latest nightmare from his mind. Why did this keep happening to him? Why did he keep have to relive that night in bits in pieces? Why did he always have to feel that horrid man on top of him? Taking him? Hurting him worse than Potter and Black ever would? He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling as he fought back the memories and the tears that wanted release. His eyes burned as he began to feel Tobias' hands slowly crawl down his sides, a rather loud so escaped his lips as he wished the sharp pain inside him would stop. Soon the tears were cascading down his face as he gripped the sheets has hard as he could as his resolve vanished.

___hot, wet breath in his ear before the calloused hands violently grasped his hips,.____..____  
"Please, please" He begged as he grasped for something, anything. ____"____Please______don't pl-lease" but it was no use and he knew it as he heard Tobias laugh above him... _  
_  
He bolted straight up as he fought to breathe, his flew open __as his hands still gripped the sheets. Why did that moment always pop__into his head when he tried to avoid it? Why did he have to remember? Why? _

_The sound of mattress springs groaning seemed to go right through his ears as he sat there, fighting back his monster._

_"Rus?" Severus turned to see Avielle sitting up in bed, the moon light illuminating and casting shadows on her face as she looked at him, "Rus? Are you alright?" __He stared at her for a moment, as her soft voice filtered through the silence of the room._

_He thought about lying to her, telling her he was fine, but he knew she wouldn't believe him, not while he sat there, __ shaking, __holding back sobs __that only hurt his chest more__. __However, he didn't want her to think he couldn't handle it, __he didn't want to stay there with those memories, with his mother, with out her._

_"No" he replied a few moments later__,__ looking away at his confession. He heard the squealing of the springs as she rose from her bed. She made almost no noise as she walked to his __bed__, slowly sinking down at his side. He didn't flinch so violently this time as she laid her hand on his, prying it lose from the sheet and placing it around her shoulder, before she wrapped her arms around his waist._

_"__Talk to me Rus, tell me about it please" she whispered as she felt him tense under her arm. _

_"What?" __He asked, unsure if he heard her right. Why would he want to tell her about it? What would that accomplish?_

_"Tell me about it Rus" she murmured, __"__Sometimes talking about __it__ can__make things better __it can lessen the burden.__" he looked down at her as she rested her head against his shoulder._

_"I-I can't" he admitted as the tears flowed and he rested his head on hers. His shoulders shaking. __He couldn't bring himself to tell her what he was reliving. What would she think of him if he did? He gripped her shoulder as he sat there, shoulders heaving. He didn't want to lose her too. She was the last thing he had. Of course he had his mother, but that bond was so far stretched, he could probably jump rope with it, and there was Lily, but that relationship was already an enormous mess he didn't know what to make of it._

"Severus?" Avielle asked quietly as she _held onto him, __"__you know that anything and everything you tell me won't alter my perception of you, __no matter what you may think __because I love you, __and I will love you__ always" __Severus made no attempt to acknowledge her words, instead he tightened his hold on her shoulder and relaxed just enough he could lean on her. __He had to admit it that holding on to her was so different from holding onto his mother, __she was just different all together. __She had become the person he could always depend on when there was no__ one else to be there for him._

_She stayed there with him as the tears subsided, occasionally she would whisper that everything would be alright __as she would tighten her grasp around his waist.__The room was silent as they sat there while he wiped away his tears._

_"Can I tell you something Sev?" she asked as she sat there, her head on his shoulder, his head as well as his chest had started to ach__e. _

_"Of course" he stated as he watched the dust flutter through the air._

_"You are one of the bravest people I know" she murmured playing with his blanket. __"__I don't think I could have __endured what he did to you, and be as held together as you are, even with being here a week" _

_Severus pulled away, looking her dead in the eyes, looking for any sign she was lying to him, and much to his astonishment all he found in the deep pools of violet was nothing but pure honesty. __How could she believe that when he was always falling apart right in front of her? How could see think he was brave when all he did was try not to remember and burst into tears when he did? __Maybe his mother was right, maybe he should just stay home while Avielle went. He would be free of Potter, black and their little gang. There would be no Avery, Nott, or Dolohov to taunt him about his worn robes and the fact that no one else in the house like him, except for his sister. And if he waited then they would never find out he had been beaten and raped by a muggle._

_ But on the other hand, if he stayed, they would taunt him for that and probably find out about what Tobias __did anyway. And that would make it worse. He would still have to share a dorm with the idiots he already did and they would sure as hell remind him of it every chance they got. He shuttered at the thought of what they would do. And if that wasn't bad enough __he was sure Lily would have told her new friends everything she would have discovered about him and they would be certain to shove it in his face. He sighed as he looked away from Avielle. There was no real easy way to do this, there was no right or wrong choice in this moment, only two wrongs that had the same horrid outcome no one could prevent._

_**~/\/\~**_

_Avielle sat on the __last stair as she waited for Severus, __they were suppose to head to Diagon Alley to purchase some new school supplies, for the bo__th of them even thought Eileen still wasn't sure if Severus could handle being surrounded by people. This outing was his test, everything was now riding on this one moment and she felt sorry for him. After everything else he had been through, he still had to prove himself. She was just about to call up to him when there was a knock on the door __which __she was determined to ignore, __and would have if they pounding had not gotten louder. With an exasperated sighed, she pushed herself up from the stairs, yanking the door open,_

_"Yes?" She asked, before noticing who was at the door. "Oh, it's you Evans"_

_"Avielle" Lily greeted with a smile on her face, behind her was her father who was leaning against the car. "Is your mother home?" _

_"Mother" she turned and called through the house and waited by the door as Eileen came down the stairs at a rather fast paced. "They would like to speak to you" she stated as her mother came close enough_

_"Thank you Ella" Eileen smiled, "Would you please check on Severus? He should have been dressed already."_

_"__Yes mother" Avielle replied, happy to head away from the Gryffindor._

_Eileen watched as Avielle ascended the stairs before turning to the red-head in front of her. "How may I help you?" She asked._

_"Um-" Lily began before turning to her father, biting her lip. "We-we"_

_"We were wondering if you would like to accompany us to Diagon Alley" Mr. Evans stated from where he was by the car._

_Eileen stood there, looking at them in disbelief, before now, no one had offered to take them to by school supplies, she usually did it with what little money they had, and the majority of things that she purchased were second hand or things she already had on hand. She looked back, towards the stairs._

_"It all depends on how Severus is feeling" she told them. "At the moment I am not even sure if we are going today"_

_"Severus?" __Avielle asked as she knocked on the shut door. The door opened ever so slightly. "Yeah?"_

_"You alright?" she asked. ____No, stupid, he is not alright____,__ she __thought as she __got a less than decent look at him._

_"I suppose" he replied as he opened the doo__r allowing her to come in. He was still dressed in his night shirt, however there were a pair of black jeans and a gray long sleeve cotton shirt laid out on his bed __which was more than there had been before she had gone down stairs. _

_"We don't have to go today you know" She replied as she sat on her bed, bringing her legs up and crossing them under her._

_He sighed as he shut the door, sighing before turning to look at her._

_"I know that" he replied quietly, "But if I don't go.__..__We don't go, then mother will have me __stay here, and we both know how that would end."_

_Avielle looked at Severus sadly as he played with the edge of his night shirt sleeve. There was no way he was going to win the fight. Not this time. _

_"__It can only get easier" She sighed as she looked up at his down cast face. Severus was biting his lip, something he had gotten from her when she was nervous. __He nodded before slowly moving to his bed and picking up his black jeans._

_"Tell Mother I will be down in a few moments" he stated quietly as he fiddled with the button._

_"Alright Severus" she stated as she got up and gave his arm a squeeze. "I will"_

_"How has he been?" Mr. Evans' asked Eileen as she looked over her shoulder towards the stairs._

_"As best as can be expected" She replied, __she really wished that Avielle would hurry, but she knew that Avielle was not the one that had to make the decision to go. He had been slowly getting better. He no longer flinched as violently as he did before. He was able to keep himself together just a little better. However she still did not think he was ready to go back to school. There were so many people and he had an issue with two, what would he do when he was in a room full of twenty? How would he cope in the dorm full of nothing but boys? _

_"Is he going back to school?" this time it was Lily who had spoken to her, the young girls voice was low as if she did not really want an answer. But it wasn't as if she had figured out what her 'friend' had been through._

_"He hopes he can" Eileen sighed as she turned back to face the individuals in front of her barely catching the sound of the bedroom door shutting and someone's quiet footsteps coming down the stairs._

_"He said he would be down in a few moments" Avielle called as she came closer to the door. "He was getting dressed as I left"_

_SS_

_Severus came down the stairs five minutes later. He was dressed in the clothes that his sister had seen laid out on his bed. He tried not to pay very much attention to the fact that Lily and her father were standing outside of his house as he looked down at his tattered and stained sneakers. He didn't like their sudden generosity, they didn't seem to care before when Tobias had roughed him up, but he supposed that being hurt bad enough that you had to spend three weeks in a hospital was cause for alarm. __He was about to rush back upstairs when Lily called out his name, causing his mother to turn towards him. Maybe he should have told Avielle he was staying here and she could pick up his supplies._

_"Severus" His mother called, "Mr. Evans and Lily have come to give us a ride to Diagon Alley" _

_He looked up, not looking at anyone really before he nodded, maybe staying home was not such a bad idea._

_A/N: Guys I am looking for a new beta, if you are interested please let me know._


	13. Awkward

Disclaimer : I own no one.

Lily didn't know what was more awkward as she sat in the back seat of her parents car. Maybe it was the fact that her father insisted that they stop by to see if Severus was going to Diagon Alley or the fact that sitting next to her was his little sister. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the youngest Snape detested her greatly, but she supposed that she understood why Avielle hated her. She had hurt Severus, and that was the worse thing that you could do according to the slytherin sitting next to her. Then again maybe what she had said to Severus had been harsh and hurtful and if she remembered correctly Avielle had been the to help him to the hospital wing after James' stunt.

Lily was certain that after that night, Severus confided in the girl next to her that she had rejected his apology when he came to stake out the Gryffindor common room after he had been released. She sighed deeply as she crossed her arms, trying rather hard not to think about how Severus looked as he drifted through the last month of school like Nearly headless Nick drifted through the common room, or how Avielle hardly left his side while that time period passed like a History of Magic class.

With a deep breath lily peered out of the corner of her eye at Avielle, who was sitting extremely still, silent, and awfully tense. Avielle had made herself as small as possible as she sat wedged between her and Severus, who had scrunched himself against the door as if he wanted to escape the confines of the car. In front of her her father sat quietly as he drove them to London, however, she could still see him cast worried glances into the rear-view mirror. Next to him, Severus' mother stared straight ahead, she sat up rigidly and her hands were folded neatly on her lap the way Petunia did when her boyfriend came over for dinner. With one final side glance at Severus she stared out the window. The buildings passing by in a blur as they traveled. She silently hoped that no one from Gryffindor would be there shopping. The last thing she wanted everyone to know was she was still hanging around with Severus after he had called her a mudblood. That would certainly ruin any chance she had at becoming head girl next year.

**SS**

Severus sat against the door silently wishing to be anywhere but in that small car. It was cramped and he was uncomfortable, and he absolutely hated it. Who ever had come up with this idea should have to travel back home in the trunk. Sure they didn't understand or know what had fully happened to him, but they suffocate him because they had surplus pity for him. They hadn't cared for him before he was set to the hospital in a tin can so why they bothered now was beyond him. If he could survive before them, then he could survive now right?

Severus leaned his head against the warm window pane. He dreaded going to Diagon Alley. With the luck he had he would run into the people who had made it their mission to make his life hell. He was certain they would be there wands drawn ready to duel him because he was with in fifty feet of Evans. He shuddered at the thought of Potter and Black standing in front of the Quality Quidditch shop ready to take out their frustrations out on innocent people. This was going to be miserable and he was going to hate it, he knew he was. He as going to hate it as much as he hated himself.

Much to his own surprise, Severus managed to keep himself together as he practically tumbled out of the car after Mr. Evan's had parked in front of the Leaky Cauldron. It felt rather good to be out of the cramped car, and by the look Avielle had on her face as she exited the vehicle, she felt the same way. He tried to pay no attention to Lily as she got out of the car, he could feel her staring at his back as he turned away and grimaced at the establishment before him. He hadn't been here in awhile. Everything he needed for school came from his mother's old trunk. Even the robes his sister had where hand me downs from their mother and she had reused his textbooks, so it felt strange to feel his mother gently grasp his arm and lead him through the battered Inn. He could hear the people around the chattering softly, as they made their way through the maze of tables. He tried to pay no attention to them like he paid no attention to his classmates as he wandered through the halls. But he found it quiet difficult once he realized that Mr. Evans was a few paces behind him. He had trusted his best friends father, however Tobias took all the trust he had for everyone and crushed it like a cheap wine glass. He shuttered, wrapping his arms around his body as Tobias' laughter echoed through his head.

Severus allowed his feet to lead him as he allowed his thoughts to consume him for a few moments. He needed to get himself together. Lily's father was nothing like the man he had grown up fearing, but that didn't make him feel any better. The only thing that had accomplished anything close to comfort was sitting on his bed, reading, away from everyone. . . This was going to be Hell.

AUTHORS NOTES: I am still looking for a beta, thank you for reading


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